The DOs and DON’Ts of Dating an Older Man

Are you dating an older fellow or thinking about dipping your toes into that more mature water? Well, my dears, you’ve come to the right place. I’m dating an older man, you know. Oh yes, it’s quite thrilling. I’m an expert on the topic. Okay, fine, J is only four years my senior. But I’ve been watching New Girl and compiled a list of DOs and DON’Ts from Jess’s experience dating the sophisticated Dermot Mulroney as Fancypants, who’s a whopping twelve years older. And I’ve added a couple of my own tips for good measure, since I am the younger woman and all.

DO learn from your man who’s been there before you. J plays the “when I was your age” card quite a bit and I’d get annoyed if he wasn’t right and offering me such good advice.

DON’T point out how “cute” his first grey chest hair is (OOPS). Or, in Jess’s (Zooey Deschanel’s character, for those of you who aren’t fans yet) case, don’t ask about his health: “How’s your prostate? We do have to be careful. Our bodies are decaying.”

DO relish in the fact that guys get better looking with age, but you’ll always be the hot, younger girlfriend.

DON’T complain about turning “halfway to 50” when he’s “one year til 30”. Or, you know, some version of whining about your age.

DO let him be the man. With age (often) comes maturity and chivalry—take advantage! Cece even tells Jess as she’s first considering dating Russell (the one and only Fancypants) that “he intimidates you because you wouldn’t have to take care of him, he’d take care of you.”

DON’T make your man feel older than he actually is (or date yourself). Russell confesses he hasn’t dated since 1989 and Jess replies, “That was the year I learned to use the toaster by myself.” Not so hot.