An Introvert’s Path To Fulfillment and 1.5 Million Fans

Can introverts find work that is authentic to their personalities and values? Can they be wildly successful at the same time? The answer is simple – yes.

Our society tends to see extroversion as the norm. As a result, introverts often wonder whether it’s possible to find meaningful work that fits with their quiet personalities and aligns with their natural strengths.

Lori Deschene, founder of the popular Tiny Buddha blog, is an example of an introvert who has forged her own path. Tiny Buddha offers practical tips and advice for coping with life’s challenges. Since its launch in 2009, Tiny Buddha has reached over 50 million readers and gained over 1.5 million friends and followers.

Finding an Authentic Path

I interviewed Deschene to learn about how she embraced her introversion, discovered her path, and built a community of loyal followers. After studying acting and writing at Emerson College, Deschene was hospitalized for bulimia and depression.

Her confidence faltered. She dismissed the idea of chasing her dreams, figuring that everyone wanted jobs in acting and writing and that she should settle for “good enough.” But after working a variety of jobs and craving the opportunity to make a difference, Deschene decided to make a change.

“I knew it was time to start writing about topics that felt meaningful to me,” said Deschene. “Given my history—which included over a decade of depression and bulimia, followed by years more of debilitating shame and self-imposed isolation—I felt drawn toward the world of self-help.”

Building a Community

With the aim of helping others share their experiences and empower themselves, Deschene launched Tiny Buddha. She began with 50,000 Twitter followers, thanks to re-tweets from influential friends. Deschene continued to grow her blog by writing about universal topics, such as insecurity, forgiveness, and loss.

“There’s something addictive and contagious about sharing yourself openly and connecting with others as an authentic, multi-faceted, imperfect human being,” Deschene said. “I believe this was the greatest contributing factor in the site’s growth. It’s genuine, honest, and real, and people are drawn to that.”

Embracing Introversion

Deschene’s acceptance of her introverted personality did not happen overnight. But she has gradually come to recognize and appreciate her introversion. Like many introverts, Deschene dislikes small talk, prefers deep conversations, feels overwhelmed in large groups, and cherishes quiet time.

Here are six lessons gleaned from Deschene’s experiences:

• Be honest with yourself. Instead of simply trying to fit the extrovert mold, think honestly about your values and priorities. What is truly important to you? “Know and embrace your values, interests, preferences, and needs,” said Deschene. “I think it’s common for introverts specifically to think there’s something wrong with them because of what they want, particularly because of our society’s bias toward extroverts.”
• Play to your strengths. Concentrate on effectively harnessing your strengths, rather than dwelling on your weaknesses. “Many of those ‘weaknesses’ may actually be things you wouldn’t be happy doing,” said Deschene. “Why not focus on what you know you do well, [what] you know you will be happy doing?”
• Align effort with passion. Everyone – including introverts – can benefit from a good challenge every now and then. Just make sure that you’re stretching yourself for things that you truly care about, and skip the negative self-talk. Deschene said that she feels more motivated to challenge herself when she focuses on what she’s doing well, instead of what she perceives she’s doing poorly.
• Don’t deny your personal experiences. Rather than seeing your personal experiences and struggles as something to be ashamed of, consider using your past to connect with others. Deschene stated that she has found peace in “recycling my pain into something useful for others and myself. And that’s what I wanted Tiny Buddha to provide—an outlet for anyone who’s hurt or hurting.”
• Use social media mindfully. In today’s world, social media threatens to dominate not only our computers and smart phones. Social media also invades our minds, drawing our attention away from the present moment. Deschene suggests offering random tweets of kindness, communicating about things that matter to you, responding to others with your full attention, and savoring the moment (instead of rushing to share it with the world).
• Seek the right environment. Introverts tend to seek out quiet, cozy environments in which they can work without distractions and maximize their productivity. Seek out a tranquil retreat from the noise to enable you to do your best work. Even if you work in an open office plan, try to take time away from the hubbub. Deschene feels that she’s at her creative best “in a comfortable environment of my choosing, alone with my thoughts.”