The Snack Blog

The Snack Blog is a forum for the discussion of issues surrounding snacks and snacking. It is also the personal web log of musician and snack enthusiast Seth Vanek. The Snack Blog is a place to ask your deepest, darkest snacking questions. If you are not a tumblr user, email [email protected]

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Snack Tour 2017

Part 3: I have to be honest right now, I spent part of my day off writing a really great and insightful post about All Dressed potato chips that disappeared when I tried to post it from my phone. That was almost a week ago and I’ve just now recovered from the feeling of disappointment.

Another disappointment has come from having a hard time finding regional snacks to report on. Instead I will give quickfire reviews of two new products from big manufacturers.

First up, “Spicy” Jalapeno Fritos (scare quotes mine). Speaking of the feeling of disappointment, this snack encapsulates it. The potential promised by the thought of a truly spicy jalapeno flavor delivered by America’s Favorite corn-based snack (the very one that brought us the immortal and now essential Flamin’ Hot flavoring) is NOT actualized in this product. The flavoring is FAR too subtle and does not come close to approaching anything that can be described as “spicy”. My recommendation is for one to avert one’s eyes when encountering these on the display shelf of their local snack outlet.

Next up, these babies:

Snack Tour 2017

Part 2: I’ve long heard tell of the regional Pennsylvania delicacy known as the Tastykake so I took an opportunity at a rest stop on the way to Philly to finally sample one. To my slight surprise, the brand referred to a full line of pastries and not just one style of treat. My local consultant (hat tip Ben R) let me know that if there was a canonical format, it might be the Krimpet. I instead opted for the Coconut Creme Baked Pie which came attractively packaged in a sort of boat shaped cardboard sleeve with foil tray (classier than Hostess’ waxed paper contained fruit pies I might observe).

The first pleasant surprise was the very natural looking bake on the well-browned pie crust (see close up). The taste was also very organic, not that far off from the pie crust of any pie one might have. When I wondered to myself how this was possible, I looked at the packaging and noticed a “sell by” a mere 10 days away. Maybe creating snack pastries with a higher priority on taste over shelf stabilty really does make a difference. It also explains why the product doesn’t get distributed as far and wide as the bigtime Little Debbies and Hostesses of the snack universe.

Hats off to the Tastykake brand for creating a comforting and tasty treat for weary travellers like your correspondent.

Next up: an “All Dressed” potato chip shootout.

Snack Tour 2017

Part 1: just outside of Chicago in rural Indiana you can still get local brand Vitner’s, especially when the distribution truck is parked outside the gas station.

I decided to go with a couple of the more esoteric offerings, Jalapeno Crunchy Nuggets and Salt n’ Sour Pork Rinds. Maybe I’ve grown accustomed to the lab-tested power-packed flavor of the Frito Lays of the world but I found both disappointing. Weak flavor and wooden texture. Some comfort was provided by seeing my old friend the Vitner’s mascot, a righteous bag of chips named Vinnie who don’t take no shit from nobody and loves to shred on his skateboard.

I’ll be experimenting with and reporting on the regional brands of Pennsylvania as we make our way to Philly. Stay tuned. Seth

NSFM2012 – Day 23

Featured snack: Reese’s Crispy Crunchy bar

Rating: 13 Bart Simpson endorsements

Review:

I’ve always liked Butterfinger. For a long time, it was my go-to vending machine choice. The problem is that Butterfingers are so dense and one-dimensional that you kind of lose your taste for one by the time you are ¾ of the way through it (they are also really big). Plus, Butterfinger’s claim to be “peanut-buttery” has always seemed a bit dubious to me – that crunchy almost toffee-like substance that makes up most of a Butterfinger is a lot of things (including completely delicious) but I’m not sure I would describe it as having the qualities of peanut butter. Anyway, we all know the king of candy peanut butter answers to the name Reese (and to his boss since 1963, Mr. Hershey).

What Reese’s has done with their new “Crispy Crunchy” bar is solve all of the (aforementioned) problems I didn’t even know I had with Butterfinger. The smaller, lighter, and more peanut-buttery bar uses actual peanuts in the chocolate coating in order to take away some of the burden from the filling. The filling is more nuanced too, with a thin layer of classic Reese’s peanut butter on top of the crunchy Butterfinger-like base of the bar. The result is not only gooier and not as likely to crumble in the wrapper as Butterfinger, but just an overall more satisfying and multi-dimensional snack.

Of course, we wouldn’t be where we are without the trail being nobly blazed by Butterfinger (and his predecessor, the Chick-o-Stick) so I don’t want to come across as ungrateful to a candy bar icon. Butterfinger got me through a lot of Freshman year High-School lunch periods as it will continue to do for generations and my hat is off to him. But, like any lunch room, there should be room at the table for the new kid.

Happy snacking,

Seth

NSFM2012 – Day 22

Featured snack: Fig Newton (by Nabisco)

Rating: 14 “It’s not a cookie, mother, it’s a Newton”s

Review:

Figs are such an unlikely fruit to include in a snack. In fact, I think the only other time that I ever had a fig was once at a fancy party and it was wrapped in bacon. Or maybe that was a date. No, it was a party.

I’m tempted to end this post after that totally amazing joke but I feel it is my duty to continue long enough to let you know that you shouldn’t be tempted by nostalgia or any other force to eat these ever. They are really gross. It’s not that the concept of the Newton is so bad – it’s actually really great – it’s that figs are gross and grainy and don’t belong in a shitty Nabisco cookie.

Happy snacking,

Seth

NSFM2012 – Day 21

Featured snack: Gourmet Cheddar Gladcorn

Rating: 101 A-maizing corn mazes

Review: Sometimes I get questions from readers of the snack blog about why certain snacks or certain types of snacks aren’t included for consideration on the blog. Is it that I don’t consider them to be a snack? I decided that for NSFM2012, I would stick exclusively to what I’ve been calling “mass-marketed” snacks. For me, this means mostly “snacks that you find in a gas station or convenience store”. I can’t say exactly why it appeals to me to only write about these kinds of foods. One reason might be that I find it more interesting to dissect the marketing and branding implications of these snacks than to explain why I like to eat vanilla yogurt by the bowl (which I do). Another might be that these were the kinds of snacks I was living on when I started the original Snack Blog in 2007. Another might be because it’s easier to find images of them on google image search.

Anyway, one setback of focusing on snacks that are marketed and distributed nationally is that it makes it hard to discover snacks that are truly original. If I’ve learned anything from my exploration of smaller regional brands (see Vitner’s week), it’s that there are entire categories of snacks available to the person who strays from the Frito-Lay/Mars/Keebler/Little Debbie/Nabisco/other people who invented National Snack Food Month multi-verse.

One of my favorite places to purchase snacks has long been a health food store in the Loop called Kramer’s which is where I found Gladcorn. I find Gladcorn’s self-designation as an “A-maizing Corn Snack” to be accurate. The larger-than-usual toasted corn kernals come in every stage of utter deconstruction, from entirely whole to totally unrecognizably inside-out. The variations of size and texture are what make the snack excellent. The exploded kernals carry the powdered flavoring much more effectively but the whole kernals give the snack intense crunch and (for lack of a better term) corniness. They end up snacking like some kind of wonderful hybrid of popcorn and Corn Nuts. Here’s what the package looks like. If you ever run into them, buy them at once.

Now, just because a snack isn’t widely distributed doesn’t mean it isn’t heavily branded. The savory snack convention of using the back right side of the bag to write ad copy addressed directly to the snacker is usually taken advantage of by smaller snack brands wanting to present themselves as homemade and natural to introduce you to the rural couple that discovered the snack one night in the kitchen of their farmhouse, were convinced by friends to mass produce the snack and now are so deeply and sincerely happy to have the privilege to share it with you (yes you) and Gladcorn is no exception. Where Stan and Gladys Friesen of Mountain Lake, MN (known to me now simply as Stan & Gladys) go beyond the usual script is where they sign off with a (presumably favorite) Bible verse: Jeremiah 32:2,3

“This is what the Lord says, he who made the earth, he who formed it and established it. “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

Normally, I would feel not offended exactly, but maybe put out by being forced to look up a Bible verse when I’m enjoying a snack. In this case however, I’m glad that Stan and Gladys saw fit to call upon the Lord, learn of the great and unsearchable things that are exploded corn kernals that are not popcorn and bring them into the world for the rest of us as Gladcorn. Thanks Stan and Gladys!

Happy snacking,

Seth

NSFM2012 – Day 20

Featured snack: Trader Joe’s Pumpernickel Pretzel Sticks

Rating: 74 Lederhosen

Review:

I don’t think it is controversial to suggest that salt is the best and most useful of all the spices. Of course, what makes salt so great is its ability to enhance the flavors around it instead of being its own flavor. It is like the John Paul Jones of spices in that way.

This is what has always made pretzels a bit of a puzzle to me. I’ve never thought that a bread stick, albeit a crispy bread stick, held an interesting enough flavor to be enhanced. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the bread sticks commonly used for pretzels are so neutral, so empty of personality, that the flavor of pretzels becomes essentially the flavor of salt. Needless to say, this doesn’t make for a very compelling snack experience.

Trader Joe’s Pumpernickel Pretzel Sticks avoid this problem simply by using a more interesting and delicious bread as the central vehicle of the snack – giving pretzel salt, perhaps for the first time, something useful to do. Was that so hard?

Happy snacking,

Seth

NSFM2012 – Day 19

Featured snack: (Limited Edition) Coconut M&M’s

Rating: 2 ½ blocks

Review:

Mars Corporation is well-known for constantly adapting, improving, and spinning-off its various products to create buzz and boost sales. Well, I fell for it again the other night.

I have always been a sucker for coconut in all of its artificial or natural forms so it was a pretty safe bet that I would like these. Coconut, however, is not a flavor known for its subtlety so the real surprise was how tastefully Mars was able to introduce the flavor without it becoming overpowering or cheap-tasting as the snack progressed. I was a little confused about whether there was actual dried, sweetened coconut inside the M&M’s themselves as one might expect there would be based on M&M’s other varieties. You are probably thinking, “Why didn’t you just look at the ingredients on the package?”. Well, this might sound silly but I was eating them in the dark on the way home from the convenience store and they were so good that I finished them by the time I got home and by then I didn’t care. I guess that last sentence is as descriptive a review as I can give.

Happy snacking,

Seth

NSFM – Day 18

Featured snack: Trader Joe’s Falafel Chips

Rating: 26 orders of extra hummus

Review:

There have been a couple of forces in the last 10 years that have changed the snack game pretty profoundly and TJ’s is definitely one of them. Their trail mix section literally paralyzed me this morning. Seriously, some Lakeview lady was like, “Um, are you going to decide soon because me and my yoga pants have a date with some Unsalted Pistachio Nutmeats, mmkay?”

That said, sometimes I think they get a little more credit than they deserve. For instance, they’ve made a really good effort with their (relatively) new Falafel Chips but they haven’t taken them as far as they could have. The colorful patterned border at the top and the very slightly Saul Bass-esque typeface give a nice 60’s-era exoticism to a snack that will surely seem slightly exotic to people who were alive in the 60’s.

However, I can’t for the life of me figure out why TJ’s wouldn’t drive the message home with their trademarked vehicle for communicating their products’ cute, non-threatening, tongue-in-cheek attempts at faux ethnicity. For convenience’s sake, I’ve looked up and listed some common Middle Eastern male names that start with “J” as well as their meanings (the better to accurately brand with, of course).

Jabir – Comforter; one who consoles

Jabbaar – Mighty King, attribute of Allah, one who consoles the bereaved

Jaaved – Alive, living (used when siblings have died in the family)

Jael/Yael – Mountain goat

Jaleel – Great; glorious, eminence, majesty

Jameel – Handsome, physically and morally attractive, name of a sahaabi

Jamsheed/Janshaid – Sunshine, lights

Jauhar – Diamond, gem, jewel, pearl, the essence of anything

Jibreel – Form of Gabriel (the angel)

I’m partial to Jaleel but I’m also a little biased because of my well-known attachment to a certain block of family-oriented sitcoms broadcast on Friday night by ABC in the 90’s (and the actors involved therein).

Happy Snacking,

Seth