Mục Lục

English Blog

Changing

These days I’ve tried to change every single behaviour of myself to improve myself. There are three reasons for that.

First of all we estimate people from what they doevery day, which is definitely visible without making it clear in our communication. For example we sometimes guess a person has so many friends after the conversation among us. We also make it out that they have experienced quite a lot of setbacks. We automatically assert other’s personality using these sort of information.

Secondly the meanings of other’s words depends on the personality we guess they have. For example if u wanna make someone laugh you have to be a funny guy at least. On the other hand, when a groomy guy says exactly the same thing, it could have totally different meaning. Another thing is that what some great persons say is completely persuasive in most of case.

Finally it’s obvious that if I behave better every day then people could look at me in better way as well.

From this point of view I change much part of life to continue to take myself to different level.

Bonus

I don’t really wanna depend on someone so I got cooking as part of routine every day

1st day

2nd day

Got them bc my roomy got angry using his utensils xD

Past

As one of the persons who got bullied, one thing I can tell is that bullying is something that makes one’s life totally different from what it should be. It makes everything complicated and it’s really hard to undo.
I’m gonna leave here what I think is diffrent about myself due to this experience because probably considering what’s been happening in my mind after this incident should improve myself and make this adversity the chance to get better than any other person. The motivation for this article is that I tend to consider my own downsides coming from bullying at school. I’m not trying to complain about the past because there’s no getting back to where I used to be.
The first different thing is the inability to look into myself, to take a look at ourselves objectively, in other words, without getting nervous. I can’t love everything I do in my case, because I’ve been always suspecting that people are pointing the finger at me. This is my habit and it’s really hard to get rid of it because I don’t do that on purpose, but it is what spontaneously happens in my head. Some people say you should love yourself if you don’t wanna be sulky about this kind of experience, but it’s definitely one of the hardest challenges.
It’s also obvious that I hate losing. It shouds something good but is actually often bullshit because it makes me try to judge and defeat other persons all the time even though I wanna respect what they do.
I have been trying to stop it. Totally tough.
The final thing is that I often get afraid of others. This is not a good habit for following reasons; I can’t do something drastic, or be considered as an ordinary person at least when I communicate; I can’t be honest to others because I wanna protect yourself.
These are part of crappy things that makes me totally different from others caused by the experience. They are something which takes huge amounts of energy to get removed, but I will get over it and make it even the chance to succeed. And since knowing downsides is insufficient to stand out in the society, I will also work on thinking of what I am good at from now.

High

I drank today with my colleagues for the first time in a while. It was a very good day.
I’m not a big fan of alcohol, but I really liked it because I was really high, which doesn’t often happen to me. I hadn’t gone so high because I was sometimes dishonest. Today I said everything that comes to my mind. Then they symphasize with me so I liked it.