Chapter 1: Business Correspondence–Overview

This section discusses general format of business letters, shows you the four
common business-letter formats, and discusses some basic guidelines for
writing style in business letters.

For related matters:

• See the section on resumes.
• See the section on application letters.
• See the section on inquiry letters.
• See the section on complaint and adjustment letters.

Common Components and Formats

The following is concerned with the mechanical and physical details of
business letters. (All of the components discussed in the following are
illustrated in Figure 1-1.)

Heading. The heading contains the writer’s address and the date of the letter.
The writer’s name is not included and only a date is needed in headings on
letterhead stationery.

Inside address. The inside address shows the name and address of the
recipient of the letter. This information helps prevent confusion. Also, if the
recipient has moved, the inside address helps to determine what to do with the
letter. In the inside address, include the appropriate title of respect of the
recipient; and copy the name of the company exactly as that company writes it.
When you do have the names of individuals, remember to address them
appropriately: Mrs., Ms., Mr., Dr., and so on. If you are not sure what is correct
for an individual, try to find out how that individual signs letters or consult the
forms-of-address section in a dictionary.

Salutation. The salutation, the “Dear Sir” of the letter,
is followed by a colon (except when a friendly, familiar, sociable tone is
intended, in which case a comma is used). Notice that in the simplified
letter format, the salutation line is eliminated altogether. If you don’t
know whether the recipient is a man or woman, traditionally you write
“Dear Sir” or “Dear Sirs” and just not worry about
it. More recently, however, salutations such as “Dear Sir or
Madame,” “Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,” “Dear
Friends,” or “Dear People” have been recommended. Deleting
the salutation line altogether or inserting “To Whom It May
Concern” in its place, however, is not always a good solution; it’s
quite impersonal.

Figure 1-1. Standard components of a business
letter. In this example, the block letter format is used.

Try to get a person’s name within the organization; make a quick, anonymous
phone call to get a name. Or, address the salutation to a department name,
committee name, or a position name: “Dear Customer Relations Department,”
“Dear Recruitment Committee,” “Dear Chairperson,” “Dear Director of
Financial Aid,” for example.

Subject or reference line. As shown in the order letter, the
subject line replaces the salutation or is included with it. The subject line
announces the main business of the letter.

Body of the letter. The actual message of course is contained in the
body of the letter, the paragraphs between the salutation and the
complimentary close. Strategies for writing the body of the letter are
discussed in the section on business-correspondence
style.

Complimentary close. The “Sincerely yours” element of the
business letter is called the complimentary close. Other common ones are
“Sincerely yours,” “Cordially,”
“Respectfully,” or “Respectfully yours.” You can design
your own, but be careful not to create florid or wordy ones. Notice that
only the first letter is capitalized, and it is always followed by a
comma.

Signature block. Usually, you type your name four lines below the
complimentary close, and sign your name in between. If you are a woman and
want to make your marital status clear, use Miss, Ms., or Mrs. in
parentheses before the typed version of your first name. Whenever possible,
include your title or the name of the position you hold just below your
name. For example, “Technical writing student,” “Sophomore
data processing major,” or “Tarrant County Community College
Student” are perfectly acceptable.

End notations. Just below the signature block are often several abbreviations
or phrases that have important functions.

Initials. The initials in all capital letters in Figure 1-1 are
those of the writer of the letter, and the ones in lower case letters just
after the colon are those of the typist.

Enclosures. To make sure that the recipient knows that items
accompany the letter in the same envelope, use such indications as
“Enclosure,” “Encl.,” “Enclosures (2).” For
example, if you send a resume and writing sample with your application
letter, you’d do this: “Encl.: Resume and Writing Sample.” If the
enclosure is lost, the recipient will know.

Copies. If you send copies of a letter to others, indicate this fact among the
end notations also. If, for example, you were upset by a local merchant’s
handling of your repair problems and were sending a copy of your letter to the
Better Business Bureau, you’d write this: “cc: Better Business Bureau.” If you
plan to send a copy to your lawyer, write something like this: “cc: Mr. Raymond
Mason, Attorney.”

Following pages. If your letter is longer than one page, the heading at the top
of subsequent pages can be handled in one of the following ways:

Examples of following-page header format.

If you use letterhead stationery, remember not to use it for subsequent pages.
However, you must use blank paper of the same quality, weight, and texture as
the letterhead paper (usually, letterhead stationery comes with matching blank
paper).

Business Letter Formats

If you are writing a business letter, select one of the common formats as
shown in the example letters listed below. These include the block letter,
the
semi-block letter, the alternative block letter, and the simplified letter.

Which of these formats to use depends on the ones commonly used in your
organization or the situation in which you are writing. Use the simplified letter if
you lack the name of an individual or department to write to.

Style in Business Correspondence

Writing business letters and memos differs in certain important ways from
writing reports. Keep the following advice in mind when you write and
especially when you revise your business letters or memos.

State the main business, purpose, or subject matter right away. Let the
reader know from the very first sentence what your letter is about. Remember
that when business people open a letter, their first concern is to know what the
letter is about, what its purpose is, and why they must spend their time reading
it. Therefore, avoid round-about beginnings. If you are writing to apply for a
job, begin with something like this: “I am writing to apply for the position you
currently have open….” If you have bad news for someone, you need not spill
all of it in the first sentence. Here is an example of how to avoid negative
phrasing: “I am writing in response to your letter of July 24, 1997 in which you
discuss problems you have had with an electronic spreadsheet purchased
from our company.” Figure 1-2 shows an additional example.

Figure 1-2. State the main purpose or business of
the letter right away. The problem version just starts flailing away from
the very outset. The revised version at least establishes the purpose of
the letter (and then starts flailing).

If you are responding to a letter, identify that letter by its subject and
date in the first paragraph or sentence. Busy recipients who write many
letters themselves may not remember their letters to you. To avoid problems,
identify the date and subject of the letter to which you respond:

     Dear Mr. Stout:  

     I am writing in reponse to your September 1, 19XX letter in which you 
     describe problems that you've had with one of our chainsaws. I regret 
     that you've suffered this inconvenience and expense and....


     Dear Ms. Cohen:  

     I have just received your August 4, 19XX letter in which you list 
     names and other sources from which I can get additional information 
     on the manufacture and use of plastic bottles in the soft-drink 
     industry....

Keep the paragraphs of most business letters short. The paragraphs of
business letters tend to be short, some only a sentence long. Business letters
are not read the same way as articles, reports, or books. Usually, they are read
rapidly. Big, thick, dense paragraphs over ten lines, which require much
concentration, may not be read carefully–or read at all.

To enable the recipient to read your letters more rapidly and to comprehend
and remember the important facts or ideas, create relatively short paragraphs
of between three and eight lines long. In business letters, paragraphs that are
made up of only a single sentence are common and perfectly acceptable.
Throughout this section, you’ll see examples of the shorter paragraphs
commonly used by business letters.

“Compartmentalize” the contents of your letter. When you
“compartmentalize” the contents of a business letter, you place each different
segment of the discussion–each different topic of the letter–in its own
paragraph. If you were writing a complaint letter concerning problems with the
system unit of your personal computer, you might have these paragraphs:

• A description of the problems you’ve had with it
• The ineffective repair jobs you’ve had
• The compensation you think you deserve and why

Study each paragraph of your letters for its purpose, content, or function.
When you locate a paragraph that does more than one thing, consider splitting
it into two paragraphs. If you discover two short separate paragraphs that do
the same thing, consider joining them into one.

Provide topic indicators at the beginning of paragraphs. Analyze some of
the letters you see in this section in terms of the contents or purpose of their
individual paragraphs. In the first sentence of any body paragraph of a
business letter, try to locate a word or phrase that indicates the topic of that
paragraph. If a paragraph discusses your problems with a personal computer,
work the word “problems” or the phrase “problems with my personal computer”
into the first sentence. Doing this gives recipients a clear sense of the content
and purpose of each paragraph. Here is an excerpt before and after topic
indicators have been incorporated:

Problem:  I have worked as an electrician in the Decatur, Illinois, 
          area for about six years. Since 1980 I have been licensed by 
          the city of Decatur as an electrical contractor qualified to 
          undertake commercial and industrial work as well as 
          residential work.

Revision: As for my work experience, I have worked as an electrician 
          in the Decatur, Illinois, area for about six years. Since 
          1980 I have been licensed by the city of Decatur as an 
          electrical contractor qualified to undertake commercial and 
          industrial work as well as residential work.(Italics not in the 
          original.)

List or itemize whenever possible in a business letter. Listing spreads out
the text of the letter, making it easier to pick up the important points rapidly.
Lists can be handled in several ways, as explained in the section on lists. For
examples, of lists in business correspondence, see Figure 1-1, the inquiry
letter, and order letter.

Place important information strategically in business letters. Information
in the first and last lines of paragraphs tends to be read and remembered
better.
Information buried in the middle of long paragraphs is easily overlooked or
forgotten. Therefore, place important information in high-visibility points. For
example, in application letters which must convince potential employers that
you are right for a job, locate information on appealing qualities at the
beginning or end of paragraphs for greater emphasis. Place less positive or
detrimental information in less highly visible points in your business letters.
If you have some difficult things to say, a good (and honest)
strategy is to de-emphasize by placing them in areas of less emphasis. If a
job requires
three years of experience and you only have one, bury this fact in the middle
or the lower half of a body paragraph of the application letter. The resulting
letter will be honest and complete; it just won’t emphasize weak points
unnecessarily. Here are some examples of these ideas:

Problem:  In July I will graduate from the University of Kansas with a 
          Bachelor of Science in Nutrition and Dietetics. Over the 
          past four years in which I have pursued this degree, I have 
          worked as a lab assistant for Dr. Alison Laszlo and have 
          been active in two related organizations, the Student 
          Dietetic Association and the American Home Economics 
          Association. In my nutritional biochemistry and food science 
          labs, I have written many technical reports and scientific 
          papers. I have also been serving as a diet aide at St. 
          David's Hospital in Lawrence the past year and a half. (The 
          job calls for a technical writer; let's emphasize that first, then mention the rest!)

Revision: In my education at the University of Kansas, I have had 
          substantial experience writing technical reports and 
          scientific papers. Most of these reports and papers have 
          been in the field of nutrition and dietetics in which I will 
          be receiving my Bachelor of Science degree this July. During 
          my four years at the University I have also handled plenty 
          of paperwork as a lab assistant for Dr. Alison Laszlo, as a 
          member of two related organizations, the Student Dietetic 
          Association and the American Home Economics Association, and 
          as a diet aide as St. David's Hospital in Lawrence in the 
          past year and a half.  


Problem:  To date, I have done no independent building inspection on 
          my own. I have been working the past two years under the 
          supervision of Mr. Robert Packwood who has often given me 
          primary responsibility for walk-throughs and property 
          inspections. It was Mr. Packwood who encouraged me to apply 
          for this position. I have also done some refurbishing of 
          older houses on a contract basis and have some experience in 
          industrial construction as a welder and as a clerk in a 
          nuclear construction site. (Let's not lie about our lack of experience, 
          but let's not put it on a billboard either!)

Revision: As for my work experience, I have done numerous building 
          walk-throughs and property inspections under the supervision 
          of Mr. Robert Packwood over the past two years. Mr. 
          Packwood, who encouraged me to apply for this position, has 
          often given me primary responsibility for many inspection 
          jobs. I have also done some refurbishing of older houses on 
          a contract basis and have some experience in industrial 
          construction as a welder and as a clerk in a nuclear 
          construction site. 

Find positive ways to express bad news in your business letters.
Often, business letters must convey bad news: a broken computer keyboard
cannot be replaced, or an individual cannot be hired. Such bad news can be
conveyed in a tactful way. Doing so reduces the chances that business
relations with the recipient of the bad news will end. To convey bad news
positively, avoid such words as “cannot,” “forbid,”
“fail,” “impossible,” “refuse,”
“prohibit,” “restrict,” and “deny” as much as
possible. The first versions of the example sentences below are phrased in
a rather cold and unfriendly negative manner; the second versions are much
more positive, cordial and tactful:

Problem:  Because of the amount of information you request in your 
          letter, simply cannot help you without seriously disrupting 
          my work schedule. 

Revision: In your letter you ask for a good amount of information 
          which I would like to help you locate. Because of my work 
          commitments, however, I am going to be able to answer only a 
          few of the questions.... 


Problem:  If you do not complete and return this advertisement 
          contract by July 1, 19XX, you will not receive your 
          advertising space in this year's Capitol Lines. If we have 
          not heard from you by this deadline, we will sell you your 
          advertisement space to some other client. 

Revision: Please complete the enclosed contract and return it to us by 
          July 1, 19XX. After this deadline, we will begin selling any 
          unrenewed advertisement space in this year's Capitol Lines, 
          so I hope we hear from you before then.


Problem:  While I am willing to discuss changes in specific aspects of 
          this article or ideas on additional areas to cover, I am not 
          prepared to change the basic theme of the article: the 
          usability of the Victor microcomputer system.
                 
Revision: I am certainly open to suggestions and comments about 
          specific aspects of this article, or any of your thoughts on 
          additional areas that you think I should cover. I do want, 
          however, to retain the basic theme of the article: the 
          usability of the Victor microcomputer system.

Focus on the recipient’s needs, purposes, or interests instead of your
own. Avoid a self-centered focusing on your own concerns rather than those
of the recipient. Even if you must talk about yourself in a business letter a great
deal, do so in a way that relates your concerns to those of the recipient. This
recipient-oriented style is often called the “you-attitude,” which does not mean
using more you’s but making the recipient the main focus of the letter.

Problem:  I am writing you about a change in our pricing policy that 
          will save our company time and money. In an operation like 
          ours, it costs us a great amount of labor time (and thus 
          expense) to scrape and rinse our used tableware when it 
          comes back from large parties. Also, we have incurred great 
          expense on replacement of linens that have been ruined by 
          stains that could have been soaked promptly after the party 
          and saved. 

Revision: I am writing to inform you of a new policy that we are 
          beginning, effective September 1, 19XX, that will enable us 
          to serve your large party needs more often and without 
          delay. In an operation like ours in which we supply for 
          parties of up to 500, turn-around time is critical; 
          unscraped and unrinsed tableware causes us delays in 
          clean-up time and, more importantly, less frequent and less 
          prompt service to you the customer. Also, linens ruined by 
          stains that could have been avoided by immediate soaking 
          after the party cause you to have to pay more in rental 
          fees. 


Problem:  For these reasons, our new policy, effective September 1, 
          19XX, will be to charge an additional 15% on unrinsed 
          tableware and 75% of the wholesale value of stained linens 
          that have not been soaked.
                 
Revision: Therefore, in order to enable us to supply your large party 
          needs promptly and whenever you require, we will begin 
          charging 15% on all unrinsed tableware and 75% of the 
          wholesale value of stained linens that have not been soaked. 
          This policy we hope will encourage our customers' kitchen 
          help to do the quick and simple rinsing and/or soaking at 
          the end of large parties that will ensure faster and more 
          frequent service. 

Avoid pompous, inflated, legal-sounding phrasing. Watch out for
puffed-up, important-sounding language. This kind of language may seem
business-like at first; it’s actually ridiculous. Of course, such phrasing is
apparently necessary in legal documents; but why use it in other writing
situations? When you write a business letter, picture yourself as a plain-talking,
common-sense, down-to-earth person (but avoid slang). Check out Figure 1-3
for a serious dose of bureaucratese.

Figure 1-3. Avoid pompous, officious-sounding
writing. Not only is the tone of the problem version offensive, it is
nearly twice as long as the revised version!

Give your business letter an “action ending” whenever appropriate. An
“action-ending” makes clear what the writer of the letter expects the recipient
to do and when. Ineffective conclusions to business letters often end with
rather limp, noncommittal statements such as “Hope to hear from you soon” or
“Let me know if I can be of any further assistance.” Instead, or in addition,
specify the action the recipient should take and the schedule for that action. If,
for example, you are writing a query letter, ask the editor politely to let you
know of his decision if at all possible in a month. If you are writing an
application letter, subtlely try to set up a date and time for an interview. Here
are some examples:

          As soon as you approve this plan, I'll begin contacting sales  
          representatives at once to arrange for purchase and delivery of the 
          microcomputers. May I expect to hear from you within the week?


          I am free after 2:00 p.m. on most days. Can we set up an appointment 
          to discuss my background and this position further? I'll look forward 
          to hearing from you.

Return to the table of contents for the TCM1603 Course Guide
(the online textbook for Austin Community College’s online
technical writing course).

This information is owned and maintained by David A. McMurrey. For
information on use, customization, or copies, e-mail
[email protected] or call (512) 476-4949.