Blog | John Gray Therapy

Men and Therapy

I hope you can view this article from a man who sought mental health treatment. I have a strong belief that many men would benefit greatly from the emotional inteligence growth potential from participation in therapy. This article is on example of the benefits from a man who in his opinion wished he would not have waited so long. In “a Mans Way Through the Twelve Steps,” Dan Griffin highlights many of the aspects of masculinity that often prevent men from participating in or benefiting from therapy. I hope to bring more men to experience the growth potential that while many fear diminishes masculinity, actually enhances your masculinity. What therapy can help enhance often improves your occupational, relational, and other aspects of your life. Feel free to contact me and/or other therapists and inquire about the possibilities awaiting you.

http://flip.it/0ZhdTB

Criticism and Courage

From Theodore Roosevelt’s speech “Citizenship in a Republic.” and taken from “Daring Greatly,” by Brene Brown: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.…”
I have recently been reading Browns book, “Daring Greatly,” and find it as profound and enlightening as I did, “The Gifts of Imperfection.” I find the first part of this quote about the critic to be something I have experienced and witnessed far too often in my life, and unfortunately I feel of late has been exponentially exaggerated during the recent political season. As a Mental Health Therapist I have both witnessed and experienced first hand a sadness, disappointment, frustration, and exasperation with all involved in the political events. In my observation we thirst for hope, we crave meaning, and we are in desperation for positive evolution toward a higher individual and collective self. I see in the depths of eyes of those I meet while the words go unspoken this desire.
I often think of Gene Roddenberry and the various Star Trek series. I ponder on the inclusion and problem solving and evolution of species toward cooperative and inclusive experiences. Often his theme appears lost on us who love the conflict exemplified by battles in space and on other worlds between alien species. All the while the human condition and it’s positive evolution is juxtaposed against this conflict. So many things from science fiction have come true in 2016. I can talk to my computer and it not only responds it also types my words as I say them. I hope for Gene Roddenberry’s ideas to come true, that we can evolve toward self actualization and Roosevelt’s theme magnified in Brown’s book, “Daring Greatly” come to fruition and we can cooperate and support instead of destroy. Construction is often much more difficult, destruction often so easy. I encourage you to check out Brown’s new book, or any of hers as the themes are healing.

The Business of Therapy

Lynn Grodzky continues to provide much needed guidance to our challenging field.

https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/blog/details/950/becoming-a-more-entrepreneurial-therapist

Couples Therapy

https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/blog/details/944/taking-sides-in-couples-therapy

I appreciate this approach in working with couples and clients in general. I find it extremely effective when appropriately applied.

Feb 28, 2016

In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the experts there are few. Shunryu Suzuki 1970

Communication: are you a lover or a fighter?

Ambiguity is inherent in interaction. Wrought with imperfection and inconsistency human communication is a minefield for potential conflict.  Past experiences and emotions influence perceptions of ambiguity and inconsistencies within interaction.  Past experiences become lenses we look through influencing how we see the present interaction. We project past experiences, therefore our reactions, onto current situations not often aware we are doing so. If our past experiences were full of conflict we will find conflict in our present interactions. The conflict influences us to identify roles we have played in prior interactions projecting them upon the current interaction. For example, we may try to “win” in an interaction instead of cooperate, as someone had to win in the past. This would mean you are coming from the “fighter” perspective as you may have learned you need to protect yourself in interactions.

On the other hand, you may have past experiences where cooperation was the common theme in interactions. As your past experiences guide how you perceive (the lenses we look through) current situations you may look for ways to cooperate within interactions when ambiguity and inconsistency is present. You are then more likely to cooperate and resolve the conflict as a team.

If you are working toward making communication and relationships better in your life, it is important to know what you are bringing to the table. That is, to know what perspective you are coming from. It is possible for us to want ,on one hand cooperation in our relationships, and simultaneously be coming from a learned perspective of conflict. In this example we may be often confused why we do not get the cooperation we seek.